Three Fundamental Techniques in Handling People

Dale Carnegie

Principle 1: Do not condemn, complain, or criticize

There is a time and place to bring to bear moral judgment, a form of criticizing that distinguishes between right and wrong.  In doing so, be certain that you have made yourself correct first then criticize through constructive feedback seeking to understand the conditions first. Criticism is pointless because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes him attempt to justify himself. Dangerous because it wounds pride, hurts ones sense of importance, and produces resentment. It takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving. Instead of condemning people, let’s try to understand them. Try to figure out why they do what they do. From a purely selfish position, that is a lot more profitable than trying to improve others. Give second chances.

Principle 2: Give honest and sincere appreciation

“The big secret in dealing with people.”

Reflection: use some common sense by giving people what they desire they will do what you want them to do. So by giving someone what they want or teaching them how to get it they will do what you want them to do in return instead of forcing them to do what you want. People who are capable of seeing another’s perspective and see the inner working of another’s min never have to worry about the future. We have to appreciate our selves first in order to appreciate what others do for us. So when you make someone feel important they will give you something you want in return for the appreciation.

Principle 3: arouse to the other person an eager want.

“He who can do this has the whole world with him. He who cannot walks a lonely way.”

Everyone is only interested in what they want. The only way you can do this is by influencing someone to talk about what they want and show them how to get it. Let’s say tomorrow you want someone to do something for you. You have to pause for a minute before you speak and think about how to make the other person want to do it for you. The people that can do this are very successful in doing so and in doing so they have the world. Why you may ask it simple influencing other people to get what you want is making the other person want to get it for you.

Reflection 

These techniques will help me when I apply them to my daily life. How it will help me by already knows what to do to convince someone to get what I want and in the same way show them how to get what they want. It’s a win for both of us. This will help me by letting me have the world by not criticizing someone because it can make them resent themselves and think that they are not worth it no instead I will listen to what they want and show them how to get it in return I will want something done from them.  I will give second chances to those that have done wrong but they will have to do right by it. My thought about this is that if I use these techniques I will move forward with my life with no trouble.