How To Win Friends and Influence People

“Six ways to make people like you”

Rule 1. Becoming genuinely interested in other people

“Do this and you will be welcome anywhere”

“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.”

“Ask questions to other people, questions that they would enjoy answering.”

Reflection: I believe that by becoming more interested in what they do rather wanting them to become interested in you will make them your friends. You have to engage in the conversation listen to what they have to say, give your opinion and help out in any way possible easiest way to make a friend. If you want a friend you have to be willing to listen and not talk about yourself because they will just think that you are self-centered and people don’t like that. Asking questions about them and complementing them is such a nice way to get a friend and many more. Also this means to go out of your way to help others and not when it is convenient. Going out of your way will show others how great you are just don t brag about it. The thing you want to do is make someone now that you care about them and that you want to be their friend.

Rule 2. Smile

“Actions speak louder than words, and a smile says, “I like you. You make me happy. I’m glad to see you.”

“You don’t feel like smiling? Then force yourself to smile.”

“It creates happiness in the home, fosters good will in a business, and is the countersign (witness or indication) of friends.”

Reflection: smile at people so that they can know that you like them as a friend. Smile because you are happy. Smile because no one can bring you down. Smile because it brings happiness to others. Smile every day to show the world that you can do anything. Smiling can make you forget that you were ever sad. Smiling makes you feel good about yourself. So if your ever sad turns that frown upside down, be happy for what you have and what you will accomplish in the future. People won’t want to be your friend if you’re always mad. I believe that showing someone how happy you are can bring them happiness to them with or make them laugh. Show people that you can bring a smile to them and in return they can bring you one.

Rule 3. Remember names

“A man’s name is to him is the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

“If you don’t remember names, you are headed for trouble.”

Reflection: Remembering someone’s name how will you address people. If you don’t remember your boss name then you won’t be able to address him in the proper manner. If you don’t remember someone’s name that person won’t be very pleased to here that you don’t know their name. Hearing someone say your name is the most pleasant thing to here but not if a person says it in an awful way. For me I find it a bit wired when I have to call another person by my name calling out some one by my name is wired but at the same time it is the easiest name to remember. I for instance know all my friends names but sometimes I can’t remember their name but its only because sometimes my memory fails me. I sometimes find it hard to pronounce some ones name but in time I get it right.

How To Remember Names

1. Pay attention. Repeat their name back to them once they provide it. This helps you lock it into your brain. Make remembering their moniker a priority. Repeat the name silently to yourself a couple of times.

2. Repeat names throughout the exchange. Repetition helps your brain form the connections necessary to retain information. As soon as you're introduced, say, "It's lovely to meet you, Jane." Refer to the person by name upon greeting and then repeat it again in parting.

3. Make mental associations. Make a visual connection with a person's name to something memorable in your world -- the more outlandish, the better. For example, if you meet someone named Jay who happens to be a music producer, visualize a blue jay at a mixing board. The humorous image will imprint his name and career onto your memory.

4. Study names in print. Use your eyes as well as your ears. When someone wears a name tag, for instance, look at the name tag as well as the face to create an association. As soon as you receive a business card, glance at the name and say, "Thank you, John."

5. Ask for clarification with difficult names. If a new colleague has a name that is difficult to pronounce or happens to mumble their introduction, simply ask him or her to repeat it. Then say it again yourself for verification. In addition to gaining clarity, the extra effort will speak to your attention to detail.          

6. If you forget a name, address it head on. If you absolutely can't remember a name, try to offer any information you can remember, such as where the two of you may have met. Alternatively, if you shake hands and introduce yourself, your contact will most likely follow suit.

If you think you know someone's name, but are unsure, venture a guess: "Bill, right?" Or you could simply apologize and say, "I'm sorry, I'm a little forgetful at the moment. Please remind me of your name." Don't worry, it happens to everyone.

Rule 4. Be a good listener. Encouraging others to talk about themselves.

“If you aspire to be a good conversationalist, be an attentive listener.”

“Remember that the man you are talking to is a hundred times more interested in himself and his wants and his problems than he is in you and your problems.”

Reflection: The rule states that you have to be more interested in other people’s problems. They don’t want to be hearing about your problems and bragging about yourself they want you to hear what they have to say and if you have any advice for them. People want others to be interested in them when you first meat them that is how you make friends or at least how you get them to be. Being a good listener is the most important part of making friends because they want you to hear what they say not just nod and say okay I see what is going on. People want you to hear what they say so that you can help them out. That is truly being a friend. When you don’t listen then they really won’t go to you for help they will think bad about you and go elsewhere. When you have a conversation you want to hear more about the other person’s life and their experiences and the you can talk about yours not before.
 5 Active Listening Tips

1. Stay focused, don’t judge

2. Really listen, don’t think about your similar experiences

3. Allow periods of silence

4. Repeat the other people’s words

5. Understand the other person’s emotions in their words

Rule 5: Talk in terms of the other man’s interest.

“The royal road to a man’s heart is to talk to him about the things he treasures most

Reflection: what this means is that lets say for instance that you may sell insurance, but it is unlikely that it’s what your customers want to talk about all day. Football, on the other hand, might be a subject that they love to discuss. When you converse about something that they love, they learn to like you more. When it comes time to buy insurance, there is a pretty good chance that they will buy from someone they like. Play your cards right, and that just might be you. Also learning about a person's interests and passions and making that the topic of conversation will strengthen your bond with them immensely.  People will be enthusiastic to talk to you about their personal interests.  Not only will this reward you with the knowledge they share with you, but you will also benefit from the stronger relationship you've built with the person.  They are more likely to be there for you when you need it. So let’s say again that I’m in a party and don’t have any friends their I would come up to a person and ask for their name and ask them to tell me more about them in and I a short period of time I will soon enough gain their trust and they will be more open and I will have made a friend just by asking that person to talk about themselves.

Rule 6: Make the other person feel important and do it sincerely

“The desire to be important is the deepest urge in human nature.”

“Helping people feel important and appreciated works magic.”

Reflection: Compliment people on tasks they do well.  Make them feel like they are really doing something worth appreciating.  Show people you have trust and faith in them to get something done.  Show them you are confident in them.  They will light up with raised self-esteem and will become much fonder of you. For example when you tweet, tell your followers how important and valuable they are. Don’t puff them full of fluff, but be genuine and enthusiastic. Excitement and smiley faces may seem dorky, but there is almost never a compliment that is poorly received. Let your followers know that they are important. Make them feel important and appreciated. When you make someone feel good about themselves they will like you more because you are talking about them.25 ways to make someone feel special

     1. Make a note of the important events in her life and ask her how the events went.
2. Give a specific and genuine compliment.
3.Praise them in front of other people.
4.In a group setting, ask her to tell her favorite story.
5.If she’s telling a story to a group and she gets cut off for some reason, be the first person to ask her to continue telling it.
6.Ignore her tiredness. Nobody wants to be told that they have dark rings under their eyes or that they look like they just woke up.
7.After meeting someone new, follow up the next day with an email or handwritten note.
8.When you first call her on the phone, ask if it’s a good time for her to talk.
9.If, while talking on the phone, you hear something going on in the background, ask her if she needs to attend to it.
10.Don’t multi-task while you’re on the phone. She’ll be able to tell.

Reflection: I believe that to make a friend you should follow these rules. By following them you will make many friends and you can count on them for anything and they can count on you. All you have to do is be committed to the rules and pay attention to what the other person is talking about. Make them feel like you are interested in them talk about them not yourself. Make them feel wanted. You should really follow them because they are great I have many friends that I can count on because of this and I can truly say it is great. When I talk to them I make them feel good and they return the favor by doing the same and I’m very happy with the friends I have. I know that I will be using these rules for a long time to make new friends.